This is what you can do with a loved ones belongings when they pass

Every day in storage we encounter people needing to let go of sentimental items or possessions.  This task is hard at the best of times, but when the letting go involves the estate of a loved one the process is much more difficult again.

 Every one of us here at Spacemax has dealt personally with the death of a loved one, and we have all processed the deaths and how we dealt with our families belongings in very different ways. 

Going through someone's stuff can be incredibly hard.  Memories flood back and you cry, you laugh and sometimes sit there wrapped up in silent thought.

Everyone is different; I find the easiest way to deal with death is to sort through stuff sooner rather than later, donating clothes and usable items to charity and storing anything I am unsure about or not quite ready to deal with until that initial shock wears off and I can make decisions with a clear head. 

For many of my family and friends though, part of their grieving process means that they find it comforting to hold on to everything for months or even years until the time comes where they are ready to let go.

To help children cope, knowing they can keep something special can help them through the process.  My Dad made memory boxes for my two eldest children (they were 5 and 7) when we lost their Dad, and they were allowed to choose a couple of things that were important to them of his, along with things I thought they might appreciate at a later time.  They alone hold the key to these boxes and they have been kept in safe places where they can go through them anytime.

 Year later when I went back into the boxes I had stored to see what was there I felt fortunate that I had done a thorough job of the clear out and I could make a decision that the small number of things that were left were only things and that the kids didn’t need those things to sustain the bond with their father.  Instead, it was the memories that they relieved through photographic reminders, the small items they had chosen themselves and the cards people had made that keep his memory alive.   

Coping with death is different for everyone, and there is no right or wrong way to go about it, the reality is though that death is part of the cycle of life. When you are ready to move to the next stage in your grieving, we have written some practical tips based on our personal experiences that may be of assistance when you are ready.

Disposing of belongings does not mean you need to feel guilty

The hardest part of clearing out someone’s treasured possessions is feeling heartless and guilty that they were a part of a loved ones life.  It is okay to feel emotional during this process and it can be healing in its own way acknowledging the emotions as you move through. 

Possessions are just things

Every time I felt like it was all just too much, I would repeat the mantra, it is just things, and I can hold on to them, but you can take them with you.  This clarity gave me the ability to separate the physical from the emotional and make a decision. 

Bind the unique photos into an album 

If there are things that are special but you don’t want to keep them forever, taking a picture and binding them into an album with the other special photos can be a great way to minimise storage space.  Cherish the items you hold onto.

Live without regrets

There are things I threw away in haste that I wished later I had kept, but when feelings of regret have come up when I least expect it, I remind myself why I threw it away in the first place.  I know the loved ones we have lost would not want us to be living a life surrounded by boxes of their stuff, we kept the things that mattered most, and the rest do sit in a small Storage Unit until that time we are sure we are ready to let go.